• Item Type: T-Shirt
• Materials: Listed per variant or supplier (see options/images).
• Dimensions / Fit: See size chart or dimensions in images if applicable.
• Finish / Print Method: DTG / Screen Print / Embroidery / Sublimation (varies by item).
• What’s Included: One (1) T-Shirt.
• How to Use: Use as intended for a standard consumer product.
• Care Instructions: Follow label; typically wash cold and tumble low for apparel.
• Safety Notes: Not a toy. Keep away from open flame. Choking hazard for small parts.
• Origin: Printed and fulfilled by trusted partners; country of origin may vary by variant.
• Model / SKU: Auto-assigned at fulfillment.

Satirical universe snippet: The Feed hums, the Signal whispers. You show up in cotton and irony, a minor deity of office hours. No miracles promised—just a wearable wink at the collapse.

• This product is a T-Shirt. Lore is satirical flavor text and not a product claim.
• No medical, therapeutic, or performance claims are made or implied.
• Use as directed; follow care and safety instructions. Minor production variation may occur.

Ships in 3–7 business days. Delivery times vary by destination.

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